Many would agree with you. We often hear people asking, “Where has the time gone? It just seems like yesterday.” 

Can you remember sitting through a boring lecture? Five minutes may have felt like an hour. Or how about a boring sermon? That hour may have seemed like it was forever. Contrast that sense of time to being at a party. Time sprints by when having a good time, working on something you love and being engaged in new experiences. 

We know time does not slow down, it’s our perception of it that does. This is not a new concept. Psychologist William James wrote about the phenomenon of time perception in his Principles of Psychology in 1890. 

Here are some theories that affect our perception of time: 

Theory No. 1: Years are relatively smaller. As we age, each year is a smaller proportion of our time. For a 10-year-old, that birthday represents 1/10 of life which is a big portion. For an 80-year-old, University of Michigan psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the Huffington Post, that birthday is 1/80 of life which is a smaller portion that contributes to the feeling that it went by quickly. Each year feels shorter compared to the total time we have lived and therefore seems to go by faster. 

Theory No. 2: Theory of firsts. When we’re young, Diana Raab wrote in a Psychology Today piece, we encounter a lot of “firsts.” They might be our first kiss, our first love, getting our first car or the first day of college. It might be learning to swim or falling off a bike. We pay attention to the details of our unique and memorable experiences. The more details we can recall, the better we remember them. As we age, we have similar experiences over and over again, perceived time goes more quickly. 

Theory No. 3: Brain function. This helps explain the theory of firsts. Our brain lumps time together when the days or weeks are similar. So, for an 80-year-old who may be doing the same or similar things daily, time gets blended together in one’s mind, making it feel like it went by quickly. What seems new and exciting in a single day is what makes a day or month feel different, slowing our sense of time. (Note: Many 80-year-olds also experience new and familiar experiences daily). 

Theory No. 3a: More on brain function. Adrian Bejan, professor of mechanical engineering at Duke University, has a theory based on neural signal processing. With age, he notes the rate we process visual information slows down, contributing to our experience of time speeding up. In other words, “time does not go faster, we just go slower, cognitively speaking,” as quoted in a 2024 Huffington Post piece. 

So how to live a life where time moves more slowly?

• Fill your time with new experiences. It’s a way to counteract routine. A research study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found the perception of time is shorter when engaged in routine activities. So, accept challenges, learn new skills and ask questions. Just step outside the norm. 
• Make meaningful progress. Time passes quickly when we do not take action. Increasing productivity and making progress on projects and goals slows one’s perception of time and builds motivation. 
• Practice mindfulness. That means focusing on the present moment and being aware of what you are doing and where you are. It’s paying attention to details of an experience, incorporating all senses in the process. And make sure to take a few breaths. 
• Go outside to nature. Take time to observe the trees and clouds in the sky; listen to the birds and watch the dolphins and waves in the ocean. This magically slows down time and is calming, writes Raab in Psychology Today. 
• Take time for reflection. Consider journaling. This can be memories of one’s youth, a gratitude list or events of a vacation or just a day. One can also recall details of experiences and share them with others through conversation, photos or in writing.

So, yes, time seems to go by quickly with age. But that can change by filling our lives with new activities, learning something new, being reflective, enjoying nature and doing something that makes us feel useful and productive. Then we will not be going through the motions of life; rather we will savor our moments, days and months with satisfaction and pleasure. 

Thank you, D.L., happy birthday and thank you for your good question. Time is our gift. Let’s use it well. And let’s all make kindness the norm. 

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

You are on an important mission with a challenge. We know we cannot make people do what they don’t want to do. We also know that people including older adults do change. So, let’s take the “change” approach.

Consider asking your friends to take the follow true-false quiz. Maybe the facts will become self-evident. 

1. Walking 10,000 steps a day is necessary to get the full benefits of walking. False. According to the BBC, that magic number dates to a marketing campaign at the beginning of the 1964 Tokyo Olympic Games for a pedometer called Manpo-kei, whose name roughly translated to the “10,000 steps meter.” That number seems to have stuck. 

2. Walking can increase the length of time you will live. True. A Harvard School of Public Health Study found that older women who walked at least 4,400 steps each day lived longer than those who walked less. Another study led by the American Cancer Society found that even low levels of walking decreased the risk of dying. In addition to enhancing longevity, walking activates the lymphatic system, eliminates toxins, fights infection and strengthens immunity. 

3. The benefits of walking decrease as you get older. False. A study of those ages 85 and older found that walking at least one hour a week could reduce cardiovascular mortality and all causes of death. This walking group had a lower risk compared to their peers who were physically inactive. Additionally, older adults were found to need fewer steps to experience positive health outcomes and lowered mortality risk as many have mobility problems or other barriers to exercise. 

4. The more steps you take, the better. True. In a study of just under a quarter million adults studied for seven years; researchers found that each increase of 1,000 steps was associated with a lower chance (22 percent) of dying from all causes. Each 500-step increment was linked to a seven-percent drop in cardiovascular-related deaths. 

5. Walking helps creative thinking. True. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is said to have written, “All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” Studies indicate walking increases creative ideation. That’s the creative process of generating, developing and communicating new ideas. Walking outside compared to walking on a treadmill created the most novel and highest quality of creative thinking.

6. Walking with peers is more beneficial than walking alone. True. This is based on the concept of “moai” walking groups from the Blue Zone Project in Okinawa, Japan. It means “meeting for a common purpose.” In a  2020 study  published in the Journal of Aging and Physical Activity, researchers compared walking alone and walking with peers. The walking with peers group improved more in motivation, functional capacity, body fat, physical activity than the walking alone group. An added benefit is having social connections. 

7. For those aged 65 and older, there is an ideal number of minutes to walk daily to receive health and other benefits. True. The Center for Disease Control recommends adults 65 and older engage in at least 150 minutes a week of moderate intensity of aerobic activity which is equivalent to brisk walking. That could be walking 30 minutes a day, five days a week or 75 minutes a week of vigorous aerobic activity such as running or jogging. Of course, you also could get aerobic activity from mowing the lawn, hiking a trail, riding a bike or from water aerobics, to name a few. 

Walking is easy. It does not require any equipment, only good walking shoes. No need to join a fitness club, make reservations at the tennis or pickleball court or pay a fee. The quote from Dr. David Agus, Professor of Medicine and Engineering at the University of Southern California from the Free Blue Zone Newsletter is a good reminder: “Our bodies were designed to move.” So, let’s keep walking and moving. 

Thank you P.D. for your good question. I hope this short quiz will change some minds. Recommend starting with just 10 minutes a day before walking with your group. Then suggest they increase the time incrementally.

Another thought – suggest having a cup of coffee after the walk. Stay well and spread the gift of kindness. 

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

Indeed, you are facing a problem and are not alone in assuming responsibility for your parent’s well-being. Almost five million family caregivers in California are helping their parents, spouses, and friends who need assistance with everyday tasks to live well in their homes and communities.

Today, families often live far apart with responsibility for care falling on one or more family members. Such ongoing responsibility can be overwhelming. Although you and your brother are not full-time, on-site caregivers, the long-term physical and emotional stress you may be experiencing are risk factors to your well-being.

A recommended partial solution: Consider hiring a professional geriatric care manager often referred to as a lifecare manager or aging life care expert. These professionals may be social workers, nurses, gerontologists, counselors or other professionals trained in caring for older adults, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. 

They may be members of the Aging Life Care Association (ALCA) that requires meeting stringent education, experience and certification requirements and adhering to a strict Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice.

Care managers typically have several responsibilities and roles. They coordinate care and services, meeting the full social, emotional, physical, and healthcare needs of a loved one. Part of this is achieved by providing an unbiased and comprehensive assessment of the older client’s functioning. Trained as objective observers, they may recognize issues and situations that may be overlooked by loved ones. 

After consulting with the family and the older person, care managers develop and administer a care plan outlining the necessary steps to obtain the appropriate types and levels of care. They typically coordinate medical appointments, set up transportation and evaluate and arrange for and monitor hired caregivers such as home health aides. Furthermore, they assess the physical environment for safety and accessibility and identify social services and programs that will help the care recipient. Often referred to as a “professional relative” that act as a liaison to family members. 

Assuming you decide a care manager is needed, the next step is to determine whether to hire an individual who works independently or someone from an agency. Then comes the interview. 

Here are some questions to consider:

1. What services do you provide? 
2. If working with an agency, how many geriatric care managers are in your agency?
3. Is there a fee for an initial consultation? If so, how much? 
4. Are you licensed in your profession? If so, describe your professional credentials. 
5. How long have you been providing care management services?
6. If an emergency occurs, are you available? 
7. In what way(s) do you communicate information with family, caregivers and the care recipient?
8. Is there a live person with whom I can speak when needed? Is the agency or care providers available on Sunday’s and after business hours? 
9. What are your fees? How is travel time and mileage computed? Note: discuss fees before any services are rendered. 
10. Can you provide a few references?

Finally, be sure you like the person you are hiring; chemistry is important. 

Next, request the engagement in writing that includes services, fees and how services are terminated if needed. Note: Medicare and Medicaid do not pay for these services.

To find a professional certified geriatric care manager in your area, go to the Aging Life Care Association website and enter your zip code. Note whether the care manager has experience in dealing with your specific needs such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and other progressive illnesses.

For those not yet facing issues of eldercare, you might consider slipping this column in a folder for future use for good reason. 

The late Rosalynn Carter said it well. “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.” 

Thank you, S.L., for your good questions. Best wishes in finding the best care for your parents. Stay well and know kindness changes everything. 

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

The concern you raised reflects a growing trend among older adults. Let’s begin by taking the following quiz to get a sense of what we know about alcohol use and the older population. You will not be graded!

1. Alcohol disorder among older adults has slightly increased over the years. 

False. It has dramatically increased among those age 65 and older. One epidemiologic survey found that between 2001 and 2013 the rate of alcohol disorder has increased 107 percent.

2. Binge drinking rarely occurs among older adults.

False. Data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health indicate that approximately 20 percent of adults aged 60-64 and around 10 percent over age 65 report current binge drinking. Binge drinking is defined as consuming five or more alcoholic beverages on one occasion. 

3. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition.

True. It is defined as the “impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational or health consequences.” Considered a brain disorder, AUD can be mild, moderate, or severe.

4. The recommended amount of alcohol recommended to promote health and prevent disease is two drinks a day or less for men and one drink a day or less for women.

True. These are the guidelines developed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. They have determined what the average American should eat and drink to promote health and help prevent chronic disease.  

5. It’s easy to define one drink: it’s just one drink.

False. The definition is rather specific depending on what you drink.  One drink is equivalent to the following: 

• 12 ounces of regular beer (5 percent alcohol)
• 8 or 9 ounces of malt liquor (12 percent alcohol)
• 5 ounces table wine (12 percent alcohol) 
• 1.5-ounce of distilled spirits of gin, rum, tequila, voka, whiskey, etc.; (40 percent alcohol)

6. Genetics increases the risk of alcohol use disorder.

True. Genetics accounts for approximately 60% of the overuse of alcohol. The risk is influenced by the interaction of a person’s genes and their environment.

7. People who drink daily have an alcohol use disorder. 

False. “People who drink daily do not necessarily have alcohol use disorder. And not all who have an alcohol use disorder drink every day. But heavy drinking, even occasionally, can have harmful effects.”

8. For strong and fit adults, an alcohol disorder has minor consequences.

False. Drinking too much for anyone over a long period of time can lead to some types of cancer, liver and brain damage. It makes osteoporosis, diabetes, high blood pressure and mood disorders worse.

9. AUD causes about 20 percent of fatal falls in the U.S.

False. It causes far more – 65 percent – of fatal falls. For older adults, in particular, too much alcohol can lead to poor balance and falling. Since older adults have thinner bones than younger adults, falls can result in hip and arm fractures.

10. Older adults are more sensitive to alcohol than younger adults.

True. Older adults typically metabolize alcohol more slowly. We know that lean body mass declines with age which means there is less muscle to absorb the alcohol. Older adults feel the effects of alcohol more quickly, even consuming lower amounts of alcohol than when they were younger.  

Now, what to do? Consider having a conversation with your mother about her sadness and grief in missing your father and recommend a support group or meeting with a counselor. You might express your concern about the health implications of her drinking and suggest she see her doctor for a checkup.  

There are some websites that might be helpful.

• To evaluate your mother’s relationship to alcohol, see the website Rethinking Drinking and look at the “pros and cons’ section.  https://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/how-much-too-much/what-are-symptoms-alcohol-use-disorder-aud
• Check out Seniors for Sobriety, a subgroup of Alcoholics Anonymous that holds virtual meetings. https://lacoaa.org/meeting-details.php?id=925. Note: LACOAA stands for the Los Angeles Central Office of Alcoholic Anonymous.
• Finally, See Alcohol Anonymous to find a meeting near your mother’s location.  https://www.aa.org/find-aa

Thank you D.H. for your question. Your mother is fortunate to have a caring daughter. Stay well and know kindness is everything.

Here are five more areas that indicate the pervasiveness and relevance of the subject. It’s a bird’s eye overview from just one person’s perspective and is not based on formal analytics. 

Public policy: One example is the Congressional bill entitled Protecting Older Workers Against Age Discrimination Act (POWADA) of 2023. With bipartisan support, this bill is in response to a 2009 Supreme Court ruling that made it more difficult to prove claims of illegal biases under the Age Discrimination in Employment Act. Since 2009, older workers must prove that age is the deciding factor in the employment decision, rather than just one of the factors. This is a higher burden of proof than needed for other types of job discrimination claims. “This bill helps level the playing field for older workers and restores their ability to fight back against age discrimination in the workplace,” wrote Bill Sweeney, AARP senior vice president for government affairs.

Older consumers: In 2022, the 65-and-older demographic accounted for 22 percent of spending in the U.S. economy. This is the highest market share since records began in 1972. This increase has been attributed to older consumers’ health, wealth and perhaps the psychological impact of the pandemic. At the same time, this demographic is considered an underserved market. According to the Boston Consulting Group, mature consumers often are ignored by brand marketing because they are seen as sensitive and reliant on brick-and-mortar stores for their purchases. “Nothing could be further from the truth. Marketers fail to recognize their role as trendsetters” … notes the consulting group. Furthermore, older adults agree and feel they are being ignored because of age stereotypes, according to research by Age of Majority. 

Employment: In 2023, roughly 11 million older adults were working, which is nearly quadruple in size since the mid-1980s according to a Pew study. The fastest-growing age group are workers age 75 and older. Add to that changes in the Social Security System which raised the age at which workers can receive their full retirement benefits from age 65 to 67. Although illegal, age discrimination continues in the workplace. AARP reports that 78 percent of older workers say they have seen or experienced age discrimination in the work environment. That’s the highest level since AARP began tracking this issue in 2003.

Dementia: Alzheimer’s Disease is the most common form of dementia among older adults affecting nearly 7 million. It has no agreed-upon cause or cure and is among the most feared of age-related conditions. Just over 10 percent of those age 65 and older have Alzheimer’s Disease and almost two-thirds are women. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, “By 2050, the number is projected to grow to 12.7 million, barring the development of medical breakthroughs to prevent or cure the disease.” It’s the seventh leading cause of death. 

Intergenerational relationships: “What we’re missing out on when we don’t have intergenerational relationships, personally and collectively” is a headline from the Los Angeles Times (April 11. 2023). It has been acknowledged that age segregation is a century-long trend in retirement communities, nursing homes and classrooms with same-age children. Marc Freedman, co-executive director of CoGenerate, an organization creating a more age-integrated culture, is quoted as saying that such a culture is “vital to solving major social problems.” For that to happen, he notes we need proximity and purpose – to see each other repeatedly and regularly with some common interests and goals. Closer intergenerational relationships is one way to prevent and eradicate ageism. 

Getting older presents challenges and extraordinary opportunities. We are slowly witnessing strategies to match lifespan with health span; for products, services and living conditions to enhance independence, security and dignity and for public policies to guarantee older adults the same rights as any other age group. We are seeing research studies focusing on the prevention and hopefully a cure of Alzheimer’s Disease and programs to enhance intergenerational connections. 

We all are stakeholders. So let us all embrace aging by staying well, keeping informed, and staying connected to loved ones and our communities. And of course, give back in some way. Know every act of kindness counts.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

Being a newcomer at the time, I decided to get a sense of what was considered newsworthy and important by tracking age-related happenings in the print media. I clipped articles from four daily newspapers and occasional periodicals, cut and pasted them (literally) on a sheet of paper, noted the source and date, punched three holes in the single sheet of paper and inserted the sheet into a three-ring binder. (Yes, this is history.) In addition to reading research studies and reports, I felt this was one way to be informed about what was happening “on the ground.” 

In year one, I barely filled one binder. As time passed, I was filling three to four binders a year. Enter the Internet. Cut and past became digital. Today, there is not a day that goes by in print or digital news that does not have several age-related stories. These stories cover public policy, health, longevity, nutrition, ageism, life extension, scientific discoveries, anti-aging, senior housing, products, services and more. 

With more people living longer and with greater needs and opportunities, the explosion of age-related information will only grow. 

Here is a snapshot of 5 areas of aging that are filling print and digital media, podcasts, webinars and reports that are commanding our attention. Note this is a bird’s eye overview from just one person’s perspective and is not based on formal analytics.  

Products: Let’s just focus on a few assistive technology products that help older adults age in their own residence as safely and independently as possible. Smart stoves and ovens can be set to turn off after five minutes of inactivity. Smart pill organizers dispense pills, others use lights to signal which pills to take (Carroself) and how many (Elliegrid). Activity-based sensors can detect if someone is not getting out of bed, opening the refrigerator door or medicine cabinet. (Sensors). 

Management practices: There are now five generations in the workforce, a first in modern history. According to Forbes magazine, a multigenerational workforce is a competitive advantage for several reasons. It is reported to increase productivity, support innovation and drive creative solutions. It provides learning/mentoring opportunities, enhances knowledge transfer and retention and contributes to job satisfaction according to the Academy to Innovate HR.

Appearances: More older notables are proud of their untouched appearances, essentially meaning no cosmetic surgery. “My mother was a great beauty and never succumbed to plastic surgery. She thought it was best to grow old gracefully. I feel the same,” Sigourney Weaver said in an interview last year with El País. For many, retaining one’s natural gray hair is one indicator of aging naturally.

Retirement planning: This popular subject can be foreboding. AARP reports that nearly half of those age 55 and older have no retirement savings. And nearly half (46 percent) of American households have no retirement savings in retirement accounts. Four in 10 workers are projected to fall short of what they need in retirement. 

Where to live: There currently are over 30,000 assisted living communities in the U.S. The need will continue to grow as 70 percent of older adults are predicted to need some kind of care in their lifetime. That care comes with a price tag of just over $57,000 median annual cost in 2023. https://www.seniorliving.org/companies/statistics/ This industry brings in just over $94 billion in revenue. 

Here’s an added fact. The magazine published by AARP (which was previously called “Modern Maturity”) reaches just over 38 million readers, making it the magazine with the largest circulation in the U.S.  

The broad field of aging continues to attract entrepreneurs, students, businesspeople, policymakers, researchers, scientists and more. As the population ages, the stakeholders will only continue to grow with most looking for ways to age well with a sense of stability, health and possibilities. 

Stay well everyone and know every act of kindness counts. 

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

Solo aging is an often overlooked topic. The term refers to singles or couples without children or other family support. AARP designates 50 as the qualifying age. The concern about care in later life is based on reality. Among those age 65 and older, 70 percent will need care at some point. However, 30 percent are unlikely to need care. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to determine which percentage will apply to which individual. 

I recently had the opportunity to speak with Sara Zeff Geber, author of “Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults” (Mango, 2018). She advocates to “plan, form and maintain a community that becomes one’s support network.” And geography matters. Social networks evolve around where one lives. In our mobile society, families often live far away. Those in our network can help with a trip to the grocery store, a ride to an appointment, or assist with technology. See the Village movement as a support network in later life: https://www.vtvnetwork.org/

The other important task is to create directives. This gives someone the decision-making power to ensure that we live our future-older lives the way we want particularly if unwilling or unable to make decisions for ourselves. 

An advanced directive is a legal document that provides instructions for medical care that goes into effect if persons cannot communicate their wishes. The second legal document is a durable power of attorney that gives a person authority to manage one’s financial affairs and healthcare if unable (or unwilling) to manage them.

Geber says solo agers “often bury their heads in the sand” when an attorney asks for the names of individuals that will be named in the legal documents. She suggests considering a niece or nephew or a son or daughter of family-like friends and cultivating these relationships early on. 

Then there is the decision of where to live. Economics matter. Those with the financial resources might consider moving into a community that assures them care for the rest of their lives. These are called Continuing Care Communities that offer options for independent living, assisted living and memory care. Costs are based on amenities, floor plan, contract type, and location. 

Affordable options continue to be developed. One example is the 2Life Communities in the Boston area. Their communities are aimed at lower– and middle-income boomers, all designed with the belief that everyone deserves to live a life of stability, purpose, and connection. 

Shared housing is another option. Think of “The Golden Girls.” You might ask someone to share your home or consider moving into someone else’s home. Silvernest is a matching service that can facilitate an arrangement anywhere in the country. 

Another option is creating an ADU, which are legal auxiliary dwelling units on a property with an existing home. Then there is co-housing, “an intentional, collaborative neighborhood that combines private homes with shared indoor and outdoor spaces designed to support an active and interdependent community.” 

Geber writes a warning in a Forbes article about “The Cost of Denial,” stating: “Without good planning and foresight, one cardiac incident, one moment of disorientation that leads to a fall, one cancer diagnosis (and so much more) can lead to months or even years of being shuttled around from one unpleasant nursing home to the next, possibly even being rendered a ward of the court. No one wants that!

Empowerment is key. Each of us, with or without children, wants to have some control over how we live our later years. We need to exercise that power, taking the initiative and assuming the responsibility. 

A final comment about feeling like an outsider. As one solo ager said to me, “I feel outside the cultural norm. It seems normal to have a dog, kids or a partner, but not to be a solo ager.” Perhaps all of us can be more sensitive to the fact we are not all the same and realize that some may not be able to relate to grandchild experiences. At the same time, solo agers can seek out those with similar life circumstances. 

Thank you, G.T., for your good question. Stay well and know small acts of kindness can change the world.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

She describes herself as essentially homebound; she lives alone, uses a wheelchair and has no local family. She said her interaction with the outside world is severely limited because she has no computer. She had been trying to get in touch with me, and a friend from her library sent me an email with her phone number asking if I would give her a call – which I did.

The topic of our conversation was about a column I wrote on older women feeling invisible (July 22, 2022) often referred to as the Invisible Woman Syndrome. The women I interviewed for that column shared their experiences in restaurants, in family gatherings, shopping in stores and using public transportation. This older reader suggested another important dimension to this topic – feeling invisible because of no computer.

For those of us who are computer-savvy think about how we use our devices in our daily lives. We communicate with family, grandchildren and friends through texting or email. We take classes, shop, watch movies, listen to music, book airline tickets play games and have telehealth visits. We file taxes, check the weather and traffic, pay our bills, manage our bank accounts, check the financial and real estate markets and use it for remote working. And then some of use it for submitting stories and columns to our editors. All of this connects us to the outside world. For most of us, living without technology is almost unthinkable.

Among older adults, reasons for the digital void typically include the cost, one’s physical and mental limitations, or the attitude of “I just don’t like technology.”

The issue raised by our reader is significant.

Check what you know about older adults and their use of technology. There may be some surprises.

1. More than 15 percent of those age 65 and older have no computers and no internet access. 

True. That 15 percent is not evenly distributed across the U.S.

2. More than 68 percent of those with no computers or internet access occur in Texas, Kentucky, Alabama, Georgia and Mississippi.

True. Likely reasons are lack of awareness, training, the price of devices or broadband limitations.

3. When it comes to digital health, healthcare professionals assume older patients are willing to use technology.

False. In one study, healthcare professionals equated older age with poor technological skills and assumed they lacked “digital health competence” and generalized this to all older adults. Researchers attributed this to ageism.

4. Having a computer means one has a reliable Internet connection.

False. In 2019, about 4 million older adults had a computer with no Internet connection; just over 7 million had no computer.

5. Even though older adults are more digitally connected than ever, there is still a generational divide. 

True. The good news is that more older adults are connected each year, particularly through smartphones. Yet many still have a distant relationship with technology and typically are less affluent and have lower levels of education.

Older adults who want a computer and cannot afford one have some options. The opportunities typically are based on age, usually 60 years and older, disability status, income and need. For a resource for low-income families, see https://www.gov-relations.com/free-laptops-for-low-income-families. The irony is that you need an electronic device to access the information.

So, what to do? If you know of an older person who feels invisible and isolated primarily because of no digital devices, consider reaching out to help. Ask if you can use your device to help that individual access services or information or find an affordable device and training opportunities. Seek out those who would welcome such support by contacting a faith-based community or any organization where older adults may gather. Consider it as one of your acts of kindness.

Thank you to our reader and our conversation about feeling invisible.

Stay well everyone and stay connected – digitally and in person.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

The National Institute on Aging provides some tips useful for everyone, regardless of age.

Floors, stairway and hallways: Handrails on both sides are ideal. If the handrail is only on one side – use it and carry what you need in the free hand. If needed, make a second trip. Also, no small throw rugs, even if they are heirlooms, worth a lot of money or add just the perfect touch to your floor or hallway. Carpets need to be fixed firmly to the floor. 

Bathrooms: This is one of the most dangerous rooms. According to the National Institute on Aging, 80 percent of older adult falls happen in the bathroom due to slippery floors and surfaces. Here are some tips: Place a non-slip mat inside and outside the tub. Plug in nightlights in and around the bathroom. Clean up puddles on the floor. Install grab bars by the toilet or near the shower and tub and keep shampoo, soap and other bath products high on a shelf to avoid bending over.

Bedrooms: Darkness is a hazard. Place nightlights and switches close to your bed and keep a flashlight close by in case of a power outage, particularly if you need to make a bathroom stop. Also, keep a well-charged phone or landline near your bed. 

Kitchen: Place pots, pans and utensils in a place that is easy to reach. That may involve rearranging your kitchen. Clean up spills immediately; they are falls waiting to happen. Be cautious of waxed floors; if possible, do without. Consider a non-slip mat in areas near common spills or water. 

Outdoor spaces: Make sure steps leading to your home are not broken. When visiting others, be aware that some older homes have concrete steps that are not deep which can affect one’s balance. If leaving your home during the day and plan to return when dark, turn on an outdoor light when leaving or have a programmed outdoor light. Also, consider a grab bar near your front door for balance as you lock the door. 

Other living areas: One may think, “Just this one time, I’ll stand on the chair to reach something high. Don’t. That one time could be the last time. Use a reach-stick or ask for help. If you use a step stool, make sure it’s steady and has a handrail on top. If you have a pet, know where it is when you are standing or walking. Keep electrical cords near walls and aways from walking paths. Make sure your sofas and chairs are the right height for you to get in and out easily. Finally, keep a list of emergency numbers in large print near your phone and save them under “favorites” on your mobile phone.  

Here are few other tips: Get eyes checked once a year and update eyeglasses as needed. Review medications periodically to check for side effects such as drowsiness or dizziness which could increase the risk for falling. And get your hearing checked since hearing plays an important role in balance. A Johns Hopkins study found that falls increase threefold with even a mild hearing loss. 

Fall prevention is not just about our environment; it’s about one’s level of fitness. To prevent or minimize injury from a fall, consider exercise. Regardless of one’s life stage, there are fitness programs that can suit each individual’s level for optimum functioning. Such exercises typically are designed to maintain or enhance strength, balance and flexibility.  For example, consider tai chi, yoga or join a fitness class.   

“When we fall, we are consumed with embarrassment,” writes author Dani Shapiro in the New York Times article (“My Fall Made Me Feel Ashamed,” November 4, 2023).” She continues, “A fall is different from an accident or an act of violence. It’s not something done to you, but something you have done. I had been an agent of my own near catastrophe.  My trust in myself had been broken along with my jaw.” Shapiro continues, “When injured we are separated from the herd of the healthy.” She offers a lesson learned: “If we could all acknowledge our shared fragility (with age), shame would disappear.”

Let’s also remember that exercise can push becoming fragile out to our latest year. 

H.K., Thank you for your important question. Your father is fortunate to have you as a caring daughter. Stay well and know small acts of kindness count.

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia is demanding and often consuming of one’s time and energy. This disease is progressive with no agreed-upon cause or cure. Yet we have some encouragement with a newly approved drug that slows its progression but just for a period of time. The cure cannot come fast enough as an estimated 6.7 million Americans age 65 and older are reported to have this brain disease in 2023. 

So, what can we do in the meantime? Having a pet seems to help. The Alzheimer’s Association reports that animal therapy can help people navigate dementia. The Alzheimer’s Association cites several studies that evaluate the impact of regular engagements with both living and robotic animals. Mood was found to improve as well as interaction with others. Engagement with the pet had a calming effect on dementia-related behaviors and also helped to increase physical activity. 

Furthermore, pets can provide a feeling of unconditional love as well as a source for support and comfort. Then there is the feeling of companionship, friendship and a sense of purpose – just caring for another living entity. There’s more. It can improve self-esteem and confidence while promoting independence by playing a role in the pet’s feeding, walking and grooming. 

So, the short answer is yes, having a pet such as a dog has the strong potential to have a positive influence on those with Alzheimer’s disease.

However, there are some considerations in making that decision as suggested by the UK Alzheimer’s Association.

1. Does the person have the capacity and judgment to decide whether he or she wants a pet?
2. Does the person interact well with animals? If the individual didn’t care for dogs prior to dementia, it’s unlikely that will change. 
3. Give some serious thought to the type of pet. If it is a dog, consider breeds such as a pug, schnauzer, cocker spaniel, chihuahua or Boston Terrier as recommended by SuperCarers. Also, do your own investigation. 
4. Consider the amount of work and effort required to take care of a dog. Is the dog calm and does it require minimal maintenance? 
5. Beware of the risk for falls. Is the person suffering from dementia likely to trip or fall over the animal? 

Here are two important caveats. Does the individual with Alzheimer’s disease have visual limitations, such as poor sight, glaucoma or other eye infirmities? If so, tripping or falling over the animal, its leash or watering bowl is a big risk.

The second pertains to the family care provider. Does that person have any limitations in vision, balance or energy that would interfere with the maintenance of the dog or place an added strain or even jeopardize existing caregiving responsibilities? Think about flea problems, trips to the veterinarian, dog walking or doggie accidents in the house. 

If these two areas of risk are relevant consider a robotic dog. There are many on the market. I became acquainted with one at an age and technology conference from a company called TomBot. Their Jennie is an interactive emotional support robotic dog, designed by Jim Henson’s Creature Future shop. 

The co-founder and owner Tom Stevens came to this project with 30-plus years as a high-tech executive and developed the company TomBot in response to his mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. Since she could no longer personally care for her puppy, he created Jennie as a substitute. This realistic robotic dog is covered with sensors and responds to different kinds of touches and its name. If renamed, it also will respond. It sleeps when it is dark and wakes at daylight. When I touched Jennie’s face with my hand, her fur felt real as she snuggled her face into my palm. When I looked into Jennie’s eyes, I felt she was looking back at me. There are others on the market; this is just one I have experienced. 

So best wishes D.J. in supporting your wife on this journey. Wishing you and your wife continued strength and good health. And thank you for your good question. 

As a friendly reminder, take a moment to be kind to yourself and others. 

Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity