When I received negative feedback from those involved in the conversation, I was surprised and disheartened by the narrative that followed. Although I felt I didn’t deserve the outcome, at that moment, I had a decision to make. Would I lash out and trade below-the-belt barbs? Would I crumble and get down on myself, or would I address the matter head-on with truth and set an example?

Everywhere we look, we see folks willing to engage in word wars and attack anyone who doesn’t agree with their perspective. We even see this behavior from our politicians and others, from whom we should expect better. However, social media platforms have made it extremely easy to obliterate people and launch all-out character assassinations on complete strangers.

It has become commonplace for people to take out their aggressions even on family members, friends and loved ones. In life, we will experience many battles and learning how to fight with dignity and respect is imperative. When teaching my kids how to fight for themselves and stand up for what they believe in, there are three things that I want them to do: always be respectful, always be truthful and stay aligned with their values, and always show compassion.

Regardless of the situation, whether they were at fault or not, we remind our boys to respect themselves and others. If you do not first respect yourself, it can be hard to respect others. In our home, we enforce this concept when we speak to one another, but also when we’re speaking about ourselves — negative self-talk is not acceptable. If we get a bad grade, lose a tennis match or make a mistake, we do not start with beating ourselves up or calling ourselves names like stupid, dumb or loser.

First, we take stock of what happened. Then, we acknowledge what role we played and how we could have improved our approach. Finally, we make a genuine attempt to learn and do better next time. Because our expectation is that we first respect ourselves, we make it clear that we must treat others in the same manner. When my husband and I have a disagreement, we model respect for our children by not yelling and hurling insults at one another. We may have a healthy debate, but we do so with respect and love because we know that our boys are constant spectators of our behavior.

For us, respect is the bare minimum. While we cannot control others, we can control our actions, and we always start with respect.

We live in a society where being truthful is not always valued and alternative facts are not only accepted but even celebrated. As parents, how can we instill honesty and integrity into our children? Start by being honest and truthful with your kids, even when the truth may cause discomfort.

Oftentimes, as parents, we will shield our kids from the truth because we don’t want them to be disappointed or experience discontent. However, if we do not equip our kids with the ability to accept truth, we are not adequately preparing them for adulthood. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for and they appreciate honesty just as much as adults do. This is why we tell our boys repeatedly that they will never go wrong by being honest, and this includes being honest with oneself.

In a fair fight, we only address truths. Once folks have left the realm of reality, and we have already expressed our point of view with honesty and respect, there is nothing left to do but agree to disagree and move on. There is no point in going back and forth with anyone who is unwilling to acknowledge and accept factual information — engaging will usually only lead to unnecessary drama.

The same is true when dealing with ourselves. We have to be honest with ourselves and always hold ourselves accountable. We teach our kids to never allow anyone to cause them to stray from their values. We encourage them to stay true to who they are and remain steadfast in what they believe. Even when others may try to cut them down or slander them, we tell them to take the high road — there is no glory in playing small. In the end, how our children conduct themselves will speak volumes about the type of people they are and the character they have.

Lastly, we encourage our children to always show compassion. We want them to be mindful that they will encounter all types of people from different walks of life who may or may not exhibit the same values. Regardless, we should show others compassion before judgment, ridicule or disdain. Understanding that not everyone is starting from the same playing field and that folks will sometimes project their insecurities onto others should help us empathize with them.

When given the opportunity, we fight fair by addressing folks face-to-face with respect, truth and compassion. When our kids can stay true to themselves, they will find that in most cases people will respond with decency. Not only did I find this to be true in my situation, but I’ve also found that regardless of whether or not folks agree with your position, they will usually respect you more when you conduct yourself in this manner. But even if they don’t, we must continue to do what we know is right and hope that the example that we set will leave a lasting impression on others!

Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist at The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service pharmacy that she owns with her husband. She is mom to two boys, ages 10 and 7 years old, and author of “Mustard Seed Mentality,” available at Amazon.com.

This was not the first time someone I loved received a cancer diagnosis. When I was 12, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, but her treatments had been successful. However, after a short, eight-month battle with leukemia, Kara passed away. I’ll never forget the morning that my father delivered the news. It was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. A shockwave went through my body, and I had an extremely hard time processing the fact that Kara was gone. It had never occurred to me that she wouldn’t complete her treatments and rebound the same way that my mom had.

In the weeks following Kara’s celebration of life, my parents and teachers helped me cope with the loss of my best friend. For years, I kept in contact with her family and continued to visit her grave site. Since then, a year has not passed without thinking of her on her birthday or the day that she transitioned.

Death can be scary and confusing for kids. However, as adults, we know that death is a part of life. At some point, we will all experience loss. How do we prepare our children and help them cope with the loss of a loved one? Prior to losing my grandmother last month, this thought had not crossed my mind. When she passed, I was forced to deal with my own grief, while trying to comfort my mother and help my children understand that “Great-Grandma is in a better place.” Through this experience, I talked with my kids more candidly about death than I ever had before. The three things that I focused on in our conversation were the importance of having a relationship with Christ, living our lives with purpose and giving ourselves the space to grieve in our own way.

As I have mentioned many times before, my faith has been my foundation and has carried me through life’s twists and turns. When I became a mother, I prayed that God would help me instill a love of Christ in my children as well. During our conversation about death, I explained to my boys that when you choose to follow Jesus, you never truly die and that your spirit will live on with Him in heaven once you depart from your earthly body. Of course, this is an abstract concept to explain to a 10- and 6-year-old. Nonetheless, I did my best to help them understand this crucial principle of Christianity. This is not the first time that we’ve had this conversation, as my older son gave his life to Christ this past November and made the decision to get baptized. However, we dove a little deeper and I gave them space to ask any questions they wanted me to answer.

At my grandmother’s celebration of life, one of my cousins sang her favorite hymn, “May the Work I’ve Done Speak for Me.” The song says: “When I’m resting in my grave, there is nothing that can be said. May the work I’ve done speak for me! May the life I live speak for me!” These are some very profound words with an even more important message. I explained to my kids that when it’s all said and done, they will want to have lived a life that they can be proud of — more importantly, that God can be proud of. Additionally, they want to leave behind a positive legacy.

In order to do this, they must become men of integrity who fear the Lord, do what’s right even when no one is watching, and treat others with dignity and respect. They shouldn’t be consumed with what their friends are doing or what other people are saying about them. As long as they are walking in their purpose and letting the Holy Spirit guide them, they will be on the right path.

Lastly, I talked to them about processing the emotions that come with grief. I explained that when we lose someone close to us, we may experience a combination of emotions from anger to disbelief, sadness to longing and everything in between. I stressed the fact that people grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. When someone is dealing with the death of a loved one, we should be supportive and gentle with them. If we are the ones dealing with loss, we have to be patient with ourselves and allow ourselves to feel our emotions instead of suppressing them.

Having this conversation with my kids was not easy, but it was necessary. Although we may want to, we cannot shield our kids from everything. I find that addressing things with my boys head on gives us the opportunity to engage in open dialogue and helps us create a safe space for raw and unfiltered emotion. My hope is that as my boys continue to grow and mature, they will always feel comfortable coming to me with anything. I believe forging that type of relationship with them starts right now.

I encourage parents to talk to their kids about death — do not wait until someone passes to have that difficult conversation. The more kids understand about loss, the more prepared they will be when they experience it for themselves.

Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist at The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service pharmacy that she owns with her husband. She is mom to two boys, ages 10 and 6, and author of “Mustard Seed Mentality,” available at Amazon.com.

So, as parents, how do we prepare our kids to handle haters and overcome negativity? Giving your kids a strong spiritual foundation will always be my No. 1 go-to. However, having candid conversations with your children about teasing and bullying from an early age is also important. One of the most crucial lessons to teach our kids, however, is about the power of their reactions: How they handle negativity — whether good or bad — will ultimately determine how well they can move forward from any conflict they’re facing.

I believe that when you instill the love of Christ in your children, they are able to share this love with others through their words and actions. Giving our children a strong spiritual foundation doesn’t mean they will be perfect or never make any mistakes, but it does mean they will feel convicted and be more inclined to do the right thing. If we raise our children using biblical principles, they will usually be more resilient as well.

Because Jesus Christ was the perfect role model, we have an example to follow. He was challenged at every turn, mocked and criticized. His character was constantly attacked and folks accused him of all sorts of things. Yet, he never acted ugly or treated his aggressors the way they treated him in return. Jesus continued to treat people with love in spite of their actions. Whenever I’ve encountered negativity from others, I remind myself that I’m not better than Jesus and he experienced a lot of turmoil on account of some of his peers. Like Him, I try as often as possible to take the high road. When I fall short, I ask for forgiveness and work to do better the next time around.

My husband and I often talk with our boys about bullying, and we explain that kids can be cruel. However, we also remind them that when someone is unkind, it is usually because they are lacking love and support. Typically, when people lash out at others, it is usually a cry for help. When having these candid conversations with our kids, we tell Jacob and Joshua often that the best thing they can do is ignore ignorance and offer up a prayer for those people. This doesn’t mean that they should tolerate disrespect or physical harm, but another person’s words should never cause them to act outside of their character.

Although words matter and can definitely hurt feelings, ultimately, words are words. We have to teach our kids to rise above and have thick skin. Yes, they will have feelings — we are all human, and as parents, we should encourage our children to work through their emotions. However, we never want them to be so overcome by their emotions that they allow them to completely dictate their actions.

How we choose to respond to negativity will usually dictate the result of the conflict. If we feed into it or stoop to the other person’s level, we can almost guarantee a poor outcome. By choosing to ignore those that try to bring us down, we are doing three things. First, we show maturity because to be clear, going high when others decide to go low is never easy. Our initial instinct is to get back at them or make them feel the pain they caused us. But while going low may be the easiest thing to do, it doesn’t solve the issue and it certainly won’t make the situation better.

Second, we set a positive example for the other party involved. In most cases, they may not follow our lead. But there are those rare occasions when we actually give someone food for thought. Even if they never come back and apologize for their actions, they will carry themselves differently moving forward.

Third, we release ourselves from the weight of their negativity. Just because someone tries to dim your light doesn’t mean that you have to let them. Use their negativity as fuel and shine that much brighter. I’ve heard the phrase, “I’m giving them the same energy they gave me.” I challenge you to give them better energy than they gave you.

In the end, we can’t control how other people view us, nor can we control someone else’s actions. We do, however, have full control over ourselves. Regardless of what others do or say, take the high road and spread positivity. Ultimately, you reap what you sow — plant good seeds, reap a good harvest!

Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist at The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service pharmacy that she owns with her husband. She is mom to two boys, ages 10 and 6, and author of “Mustard Seed Mentality,” available at Amazon.com.

Nelson Mandela once said, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” I’ve always thought his statement was so profound. If we change our perspective, a perceived loss can transform into lessons that lead to success. As 2023 is coming to a close and we reflect on the ups and downs of this past year, I hope we can all say that we learned a few things. Ideally, we can apply these lessons in 2024 to improve and better ourselves.

As parents, we learn that change is unavoidable pretty quickly. We watch our children grow from little bundles of joy to curious toddlers, from energetic kids to hormonal teenagers going through puberty, from teenagers to young adults; and before we know it, they are completely grown altogether. They will experience changing bodies, changing perspectives and even changing interests. They will experience being disappointed by a friend or love interest, or maybe being let down by an untrustworthy coworker or boss. They will experience rejection when they don’t make the team, get the part in the play or get asked out for the homecoming dance. Friendships will grow apart, breakups will happen and colleagues will move on to other job opportunities.

The truth is, change can be scary and unsettling. Many of us have experienced the fear of the unknown, but we also know that we cannot let fear paralyze us. As our children experience transition, how do we help them maintain inner peace? How do we help them push through the uncomfortable feelings that accompany major life changes? While the methods may look different for each of us, in every circumstance, we can help our children learn and grow from life’s transitions by giving them tools to navigate change.

One of the tools that I’ve found to help my kids approach change with confidence is knowing their self-worth. I make it clear to them that they may not always win, but losses don’t mean that failure is who they are. The key is to learn something from every situation. My husband and I try to drive home this perspective by having them ask themselves four important questions in each circumstance: What happened? What did I contribute to the outcome? How can I make adjustments? What do I need to move on? I remind them constantly that nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. What’s most important is how we come back from our mistakes.

Other tools we share with our children include faith, self-love, leadership and open-mindedness. We are currently helping our boys cultivate their own relationships with Christ. We teach and model for them that when life gets hard and you feel that you can’t make it, God will always be there to carry them through — if we let him. My husband and I also discuss self-love with our children on a daily basis. We believe that positive affirmations can instill confidence and help them become comfortable in their own skin. Additionally, we push them to be leaders rather than followers. We encourage them to do their own research and develop their own opinions, rather than taking someone else’s word for it. Lastly, we encourage them to do their best, then accept the outcome. If they have put their all into something and didn’t get the results that they hoped for, we remind them that sometimes rejection is God’s protection. When God has something for you and it’s truly for you, he will make a way.

Change is never easy. Whether the change is good and we welcome it or it’s terrible and we dread it, change comes with uncertainty. In the end though, fear doesn’t stop change, it amplifies it. So, instead of focusing on some of the negatives that are associated with change, lead your children in choosing to focus on the positive. With change, comes an opportunity to start fresh, improve and move forward. Growth never manifests when we stay stagnant. On the other hand, movement propels us to new heights and forces us out of our comfort zone.

For New Year’s resolutions this year, challenge yourself and your kids to embrace change. Subsequently, you just may find that as you embrace the changes you face, you’ll teach your kids to do the same!

Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist at The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service pharmacy that she owns with her husband. She is mom to two boys, ages 10 and 6 years old, and recently published her first book, “Mustard Seed Mentality,” available at Amazon.com.

Pharmacists play a critical role in health care delivery for many communities in Virginia as well as across the country. Nearly 90% of Americans live within 5 miles of a community pharmacy, and pharmacists are often the health care professionals Virginians see most frequently to discuss their health. With 42% of Americans living more than 5 miles away from a hospital, pharmacists are a trusted health care resource in communities across the commonwealth. In addition, there are 15.1% more pharmacy locations than physician practices within low-income communities across the country, helping to bring essential health care to at-risk communities. Pharmacists are also more readily accessible and can typically be seen without an appointment. Many have longer hours and are open on weekends, making them a more convenient option for patients and allowing them to more quickly initiate and modify treatment for patients than other medical professionals.

During the height of the pandemic, pharmacists helped administer lifesaving vaccines to help stop the spread of COVID-19. Coming out of COVID, we should take lessons learned from the ongoing pandemic and continue to make health care more accessible for Virginians across the state — and that starts with community pharmacists.

As we work to promote strong public health and close health care disparities across the commonwealth, we must further empower pharmacists to provide additional critical care to our families. Luckily, Virginia lawmakers are currently considering legislation that will expand pharmacist capabilities and allow us to test and treat our patients in limited circumstances, such as COVID-19, the flu, strep and urinary tract infections. House Bill 2274 is a step in the right direction to helping patients get the care they need by improving their access to care.

Allowing local community pharmacists to provide point-of-care testing in Virginia will increase patient access to acute, chronic and preventive care screenings and appropriate treatment plans. This legislation will drastically improve timely access to care for patients without delaying treatment. With pharmacists often being a more convenient option for patients, Virginians will be able to get routine health services they need without having to wait for an appointment at a doctor’s office. Pharmacists meet patients with care they need when they need it.

One study found that patients visited a community-based pharmacy 35 times per year compared to only four visits to a primary care physician. Virginians are already seeing their pharmacists on a more regular cadence than other health care professionals, and we have the education and resources to be able to provide quality health care services. We just need the power to do so.

Passing this legislation and allowing pharmacists to test and treat for common illnesses such as COVID, the flu and urinary tract infections is a critical step to improving health outcomes across the commonwealth. I urge all Virginia policymakers to take action now and protect the health and safety of all Virginians by passing HB 2274. Patients cannot keep waiting for the health care they need.

Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist and co-owner of The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service independent community pharmacy in Williamsburg.